Dreamy Wonderland

The happiest time in life for most people are when they are still babies or toddlers or maybe when they become old senile people with memory disorders, like dementia or alzheimer. When we were babies or toddlers, we haven't understand anything yet, so we didn't have to worry about anything. It is similar too when people get old and senile, because they forget things and live like children.

this is what happened to me..

when I started to go to school.., my mother was very strict to me (which is a good thing..)
I must always finished my homework, studied for the next day's lesson.. , and did my very best in school.. (because, if I didn't or if I got a bad grade, I would get caned.., hahaha.., :P, and I hate punishment because it's humiliating, to me)
I guess my mom taught me well..
then, slowly, When all of these became habits..,
I always worried about tests, despite my efforts to prepare it well..
I got anxious about my assignments grade, tests grade and exams grades..,
and at the end of every semester, I would worried that whether I will pass on the next grade..
this continued until I finished my junior high school.

When I had to move to Jakarta for Senior High School..
I worried that I couldn't live separated from my parents..
I worried that I couldn't enroll into the school that has been chosen for me.., I worried that I would embarrassed my parents.., I worried that I might let them down..

When I was finally accepted by that high school..,
I worried that I would not be able to keep up with the high standards of my school..
I worried that I couldn't get along with others because I still got a weird Accent from my hometown (my nickname in school was 'Riau' because of my accent)..
I worried that I couldn't graduate from that school..
I worried about what major should I be studying, when I graduate..
I worried about what university should I be in..
I worried that I couldn't pass the university enrollment exams..
I worried about all those fees that my parents would have to pay for me..

When I finally graduate from high school, and came to ITB..
I worried about living far-far away from my parents, without any relatives
I worried that I can't keep up with other friends, academicly
I was worried if I could pass every subject that I took.. I worried about calculus, physics, chemistry, thermodynamics, mass and energy balance, fluid mechanics, utility systems, transport phenomena, Heat transfer, chemical reaction technic, and many more..

(Image is taken from www.funnyjunk.com)

So far.., all of my worries are proven wrong..
I am so thankful that all my worries never became true..
maybe it's because I gave out my special efforts to prevent my worries from happening.. or maybe I did something good, and Buddha blessed me with good karma.., or maybe it's happening coincidentally.., or maybe it happened for some reasons that I wouldn't understand. Anyhow.., I am so thankful.



speaking of which.., I found an interesting phrase :
"WORRYING WORKS!!!
90% of the things I worry about, never happen"
(taken from : www.zazzle.com)

Worries are the most detestable things in the whole wide world.. It came to every people and is hard to be controlled on.
I guess.., for a person to be 100% free of worries, he or she must become monk.., leave everything in the world.., never worry again about anything, live in peace only to be enlightened, to become Buddha

I, on the other hand, never master the skill to control my worries..., hiks2..
I worry relentlessly.. I do wish I could kick this habit out.
Now.., when I almost finish my study here...
I worry about my research project..
I worry about my seminar
I worry about the comprehensive exam
I worry about what should I do if I graduate
I worry if I can't get any jobs.. T.T

(image taken from www.doctorramey.com)

Let's hope that all of my worries now will prove to be all right in the near future..
i will work hard for it.
I promise.