Dreamy Wonderland

for me, it sounds so true.., as I had to make one difficult decision recently..

and.., to tell the truth.., I don't seem to be very satisfied with that decision.., but I think I'd thought about it very thoroughly..., so I'll learn to cherish it and never regret that decision.

 

Then, out of nowhere, my mind began to wondered and wondered..

and, many silly thoughts pop-up unexpectedly.

and so.., here are some things that broke in my mind..

I figured out that there are many kinds of choices we'll have to choose in life.

me, myself categorize it as below.. It's kind of silly though..

It's the choices between something good and something bad, that will show oneself, what kind of person he/she is, to everyone else in this world. This kind of choice is often hard to change once we had made our decision upon one of them, as it is deeply planted in our mind and in our unconsciousness. 

For example, We can choose to be a good person or to be a bad person; to be honest or greedy; to be lazy or hardworking.., and many more. Once we had decided what kind of person we wanted to be.., I think it'll be hard to change the decision. This is because whatever decision we had made upon the choices will eventually become our personality. But, then again.., it's hard to change but it's not an impossible task, if we have what it takes to change : a strong will power.

This kind of choices is often very very easy to decide. It's just the matter of right or wrong; the matter of should or shouldn't. Etiquette in society and parent or teacher guidance should do the trick in helping us deciding what route to take in this first kind of choices.

It's the choices of things, which are basically the same, only differ in quality or characteristic. The simple example is when we wish to buy apples in market, we will choose apples that suits ourselves or apples which we think to be the best. some of us will choose fuji apples, some other will choose apples from USA, and the rest of them will choose indonesian apples. In order to choose wisely, we're advised to have some knowledge upon our choices.

It's the choices of different things and each decision bear its own consequences. Mostly.., in this third kind of choices, people will choose the one decision that suits his/her interest. One example is the choices of university major for an undergrad. An undergraduate will choose to study on his/her favorite major or took classes that interest him/her more.

Another personal example is that I would choose literature class over physic class, because I hate physic to the core.

This is the most difficult choices in my opinion. It's the choices of different things, but each of those things is precious to us. Choosing one of them would mean to let go of the other precious things. This kind of choices is the one I mentioned above earlier.

I had been organizing a trip to Indofood manufacturing plant for some time. It is finally to be executed tomorrow. I had been working hard for this, so it's natural that I am eager to go on this trip. But, on the other hand, tomorrow there will be a basketball match and I would very much like to participate in this event. I love basketball and I do want to be the part of the team that play in the match tomorrow. And I am forced to choose just one of them. I choose the plant trip because I am the person to be responsible in organizing this trip. But deeply in my heart.., I am reluctant to let go of the desire to play basketball in the field tomorrow, hiks23... T.T

You know what? It would be nice if we can choose both of them in the same time, don't you think so? but, one musn't, at all time, be greedy, because greedy people never come to a good end (that's what people always say).

So that's what I have in mind....

I still want to play basketball......., huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :'-(

I can't promise you perfection, because that is not who I am

I can't promise you forever, because I don't hold fate within my hands.

I can't promise you the sunshine, because I know there will be rain.

I can't promise you complete happiness, cause with true love, there comes pain.

I can't promise to always smile, because life always has a way to make me cry

I can't promise to always stand strong, because it's never easy to want to give life another try.

Boy :

I know you're not perfect. To me, you're so much more.

I know we may not have forever, so I treasure every moment with you, in case another one isn't in store.

Yes, I'd like the sunshine. But I'll stand with you through the rain.

Your happiness is my happiness. So, I'll do whatever I can to ease your pain.

I know that life is difficult, and has given you more than your fair share of pain and lies, but that's why I'll be your strength when you fall.., and give you my wings to fly..

woooooowwww, what the boy had said will surely melt the heart of every girl in the world..

one girl for sure....., is me.. hehehe =P

oh.., and I super love the sentence in bold..

maafkan aku yaa, bloggie...

aku belum bisa mengatur waktuku dengan baik, jadinya kamu terbengkalai..

semoga kamu memakluminya..

Hari ini udah hari kedua tahun 2010.., ntah kenapa aku sama sekali ga semangat, ga ceria, ga histeris, dan ga semuanya...

I feel nothing at all...

Hari kemarin saya lewatkan seperti hari-hari biasa...

ga ada perayaan khusus..

Tanggal 31 Desembernya, aku sempat antusias untuk melihat pesta kembang api di Jakarta..

tapi menjelang jam 12 malamnya, aku udah ga seantusias itu lagi..

I do watch the fireworks though.., but with many things came across my mind..

Mungkin karena lagi banyak pikiran..., sifat-sifat mellowku jadi muncul dan pikiranku melayang kemana-mana...

aku melihat kembang api dari apartemen tanteku, lantai 20. Dari ketinggian itu, aku bisa melihat hamparan kota Jakarta yang sangat luas. Dan sejauh mata memandang, aku bisa melihat letusan kembang api dimana-mana, bahkan di pelosokk yang paling jauh sekalipun, aku masih bisa melihat warna-warni letusan kembang api. Intinya, seluruh daerah Jakarta riuh dengan letusan kembang api menjelang tahun baru..

Akan tetapi, tiba-tiba hatiku menjadi sedih, sangat miris melihat semua pemandangan malam itu. Kembang api menurutku bukanlah barang yang murah, terlebih lagi kembang api yang besar yang banyak diletuskan di seluruh kota Jakarta itu. Menurutku, meletuskan kembang api pada dasarnya adalah membakar uang. Kita membeli sesuatu dengan harga yang relatif mahal, kemudian membakar dan meletuskan benda tersebut demi menikmati keindahan sesaat yang hanya bertahan beberapa detik saja, yang kemudian hilang menyisakan sampah.

Semua perayaan ini, apalah artinya? Sebenarnya apaan sii yang sangat spesial dengan tanggal 1 Januari yang patut dirayakan secara besar-besaran seperti ini..

Sementara itu, aku ngebayangin orang-orang yang ga mampu.., orang-orang yang masih dibelenggu kemiskinan, kelaparan, ketidakmampuan..

orang-orang yang kelaparan di malam tahun baru..

orang-orang yang mungkin untuk makan esok harinya masih belum pasti..

orang-orang yang kedinginan setiap malam tidak mempunyai tempat tinggal yang layak..

orang-orang yang miskin yang sakit namun tidak mampu berobat..

dan banyak orang-orang susah lainnya..

aku mencoba menempatkan diriku menjadi seperti mereka, walaupun aku tau aku ga bisa sepenuhnya membayangkan perasaan mereka karena aku belum pernah merasakan susahnya menjadi mereka. Hatiku perih, miris, benar-benar miris membayangknnya. Kenapa orang lebih senang meletuskan kembang api, melihat keindahannya sesaat dibandingkan menggunakan uang kembang api tersebut itu untuk membantu orang-orang yang kurang mampu yang benar-benar membutuhkan uang itu.

Kemudian, banyak yang bilang bahwa tahun baru menandakan harapan baru, semangat baru, cita-cita baru, mimpi baru dan hal-hal baru lainnya yang menyemangati kita untuk memulai lagi semuanya dari awal.. 

Padahal bukankah kita bisa memperbaiki diri setiap hari? Mengapa harus menunggu tibanya tanggal 1 Januari untuk menetapkan resolusi-resolusi dan berjanji mengubah diri?

haha, tapi saya juga munafik kok.., saya banyak ngirimin sms-sms tahun baru untuk teman-teman juga, yang berharap tahun 2010 bisa menjadi tahun yang berkilau seperti letusan kembang api.., hehehe.. Saya bikin sendiri lho smsnya.., hahaha..

Mungkin tanggal 1 Januari memang pantas dirayakan.., tapi mungkin akan lebih baik jika dirayakan dengan membantu orang banyak..., memperbaiki kualitas rasa kemanusiaan kita, belajar peduli dengan sesama.., ohya dan peduli pada lingkungan juga...

tapi entahlah.., aku ga tau..., aku hanya seorang remaja yang sedang labil saja, hahaha

aku bukan menuduh, bukan menghakimi, hanya saja tak mengerti..., hehe

maafkan aku jika aku banyak salah dalam tulisan ini.

anyway, Happy New Year everyone!!

I've got a wish.. May it'll be realized soon..