Tuesday, November 1, 2011

huaaaaaa..., pengen nangis terusss... T.T

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Insect on yellow flower... :)


What do you think?? :)

Sunday, August 21, 2011

BEE T.T

About three weeks ago.., when my room was recently cleaned.., I found 17 bees flying around in my room..
I was very scared because they seemed to be flying in any direction...
and I need to stress out that : I AM AFRAID OF INSECTS THE MOST..!!!
THEREFORE I HATE, LOATHE THEM VERY23 MUCH!!! Grrrr!!!
and I have to fix the situation myself, because apparently I live far2 away from people that can actually come and help me that instant..

In the end, with much tears and fear (they rhyme, haha), also a can of baygon (insecticide), I kill all of them...
amitabha.., may they be reborn in a better world, and attain enlightenment to become Buddha soon.

What made me curious is, how a bunch of them fly into my room.
I have one open window in my room, to keep the air in my room well-circulated, and to keep my room breezy cold, comfortable for me to sleep.
and outside that window, there is a big tree, and some flower bushes..
I think those bees came because I recently changed my air freshener to flowery smell.., maybe they mistook it for the real flower smell..
What more curious is that they seem to gather around the lamp.., I don't know why...
and many of them injured instantly (I think because they bumped into the HOT lightbulb)
anyhow.., it was a frightening experience..

I, then, bought net and fixed it on my window.., by MYSELF..
then tonight, a bee was able to come in.., hiks2...
and it bump into my night lamp..
So, I think it's injured..
here is the picture...
you can see that it got black and yellow stripes in its back...
And I shudder and got goose bumps every time I see it..




I keep it in a bottle now..
I promise to set it free tomorrow..., but It seem heavily injured.., let's pray that it'll make it..

The lesson learned : don't change ur air freshener..
and BE BRAVE.., hiks2...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Worrying all the time.

The happiest time in life for most people are when they are still babies or toddlers or maybe when they become old senile people with memory disorders, like dementia or alzheimer. When we were babies or toddlers, we haven't understand anything yet, so we didn't have to worry about anything. It is similar too when people get old and senile, because they forget things and live like children.

this is what happened to me..

when I started to go to school.., my mother was very strict to me (which is a good thing..)
I must always finished my homework, studied for the next day's lesson.. , and did my very best in school.. (because, if I didn't or if I got a bad grade, I would get caned.., hahaha.., :P, and I hate punishment because it's humiliating, to me)
I guess my mom taught me well..
then, slowly, When all of these became habits..,
I always worried about tests, despite my efforts to prepare it well..
I got anxious about my assignments grade, tests grade and exams grades..,
and at the end of every semester, I would worried that whether I will pass on the next grade..
this continued until I finished my junior high school.

When I had to move to Jakarta for Senior High School..
I worried that I couldn't live separated from my parents..
I worried that I couldn't enroll into the school that has been chosen for me.., I worried that I would embarrassed my parents.., I worried that I might let them down..

When I was finally accepted by that high school..,
I worried that I would not be able to keep up with the high standards of my school..
I worried that I couldn't get along with others because I still got a weird Accent from my hometown (my nickname in school was 'Riau' because of my accent)..
I worried that I couldn't graduate from that school..
I worried about what major should I be studying, when I graduate..
I worried about what university should I be in..
I worried that I couldn't pass the university enrollment exams..
I worried about all those fees that my parents would have to pay for me..

When I finally graduate from high school, and came to ITB..
I worried about living far-far away from my parents, without any relatives
I worried that I can't keep up with other friends, academicly
I was worried if I could pass every subject that I took.. I worried about calculus, physics, chemistry, thermodynamics, mass and energy balance, fluid mechanics, utility systems, transport phenomena, Heat transfer, chemical reaction technic, and many more..


(Image is taken from www.funnyjunk.com)

So far.., all of my worries are proven wrong..
I am so thankful that all my worries never became true..
maybe it's because I gave out my special efforts to prevent my worries from happening.. or maybe I did something good, and Buddha blessed me with good karma.., or maybe it's happening coincidentally.., or maybe it happened for some reasons that I wouldn't understand. Anyhow.., I am so thankful.



speaking of which.., I found an interesting phrase :
"WORRYING WORKS!!!
90% of the things I worry about, never happen"
(taken from : www.zazzle.com)

Worries are the most detestable things in the whole wide world.. It came to every people and is hard to be controlled on.
I guess.., for a person to be 100% free of worries, he or she must become monk.., leave everything in the world.., never worry again about anything, live in peace only to be enlightened, to become Buddha

I, on the other hand, never master the skill to control my worries..., hiks2..
I worry relentlessly.. I do wish I could kick this habit out.
Now.., when I almost finish my study here...
I worry about my research project..
I worry about my seminar
I worry about the comprehensive exam
I worry about what should I do if I graduate
I worry if I can't get any jobs.. T.T

(image taken from www.doctorramey.com)

Let's hope that all of my worries now will prove to be all right in the near future..
i will work hard for it.
I promise.
This is the smiley cookie I happened to bake today..
hope it will cheer you up, as it did for me..

good night all..
good day tomorrow!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

To : my mom.., mama yang paling paling paling paling paling hebaaaaattt di seluruh duniaaaa :)

selamat ulang tahunnn :')
maaf, tahun ini ga bisa ngerayain bareng mama.., seperti tahun laluu.. :'(
semoga tetap cantikk.., sehat-sehat, dan bahagia selaluu... :)

trims selalu siap mendengarkan cerita-ceritaku..
trims selalu ada untuk ak ketika ak sedihh dan nangiss..,
trims selalu menghiburku ketika ak gagal..,
trims selalu percaya kpd ku.., walaupun ak sering ga percaya kepada kemampuanku sendiri...
trims untuk segala-galanyaa...
Ga akan ada aku yg sekarang kalo ga ada mama..

maafkan ak masih cengeng, suka ngerepotin dan bikin khawatir di umur yg sudah sebesar iniii..., hehe :P

SELAMAT ULANG TAHUNNN, ma... :)
love you and father the most in this world..

tears, kisses and hugs from distance... :')

Li ling :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Just to let you know :)

Oh.., and by the way..
I created flickr account..
I love to take photos, but I don't understand art, so I can't edit it yet.., still learning.

please check it out if you had the time :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/marilyn_ong23/ 


and please give comment, I am still an amateur, very new in photography..

Thanks before :)

hiii, my blog...
again, I apologize for neglecting you for a long time..

I haven't been able to sleep..
then I thought of writing u, while listening to mellow music.., It's Perfect setting!! (except that I am touched by those lyrics and crying right now, hahaha)

hmm, I think I want to write about personality for this post.
How much does a person really know about his or her personality??
I just realize that even I don't know me very well..

Since I was very small, I knew that I am a shy person, thus lead to my quiet personality..
also, I think because many people that I encountered with, as i was growing up, didn't very like talkative person. So I became quiet in order for them not to dislike me so much. I don't know why.
but recently, I feel that I want to tell all my story, all my experience, maybe just limited to certain people who are close to me.., Still..
I think I can be talkative, but I held back.

also, when I was growing up, I decided that I had to be an independent person..
I was so sure that I succeed in being independent..
But lately I also feel that I am not! I want to depend on other and I can't stop wondering how nice it would be to have someone to depend on and be spoiled..

Two things that I had gotten very right 'bout myself was I am a very timid person and I absolutely love to cry.
I cry all the time, I don't know where I had gotten this personality because both my mom and dad are very tough person. Still I would cry when I listen to touching songs (like right now) or watch some sad film, or woke up from a bad dream.

A perfect example that was the inspiration of my post is
Two days ago, I had a very bad dream and it felt very real. I was crying in my dream and I am very thankful that I woke up finally. But, I was so scared that I can't stop crying even I had woke up. I want to tell on someone, but I didn't want to scare my parents or made them worry. I can't call my friends too, so I ended up crying alone and can't sleep until that morning T.T
Deep inside my heart, I really wanted to talk to someone, told them about my nightmare and be calmed down by him or her.

I guess I am now what I am, not because I willingly choose to be, but rather I was forced by myself to be so.
If that is really the case, can it still be call as personality?, I wonder..

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

curug malela


just in love with the bright blue sky and the waterfall ^^

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I miss my family terribly

hiks2.., I miss getting together with my family... :'(

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

As always.., I have difficulty in deciding the suitable title..

and, as always too.., I will start this post with the reasons of why I had neglected this blog again
and, yes..
it's the same reasons as previously stated.., I was (and still am) busy with school thingies.., and bla bla bla..
so, let's skip that..

hmm, there's nothing new and special to write about..
I think I cried more than usual..., i don't know why..
I guess I miss my family.., but It could also been caused by stress..

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Quote of the day #2

it's just sad, pathetic and hurtful to lie to myself in order to keep others happy.
T.T


~Marilyn~

Thursday, January 27, 2011

"if one can not control its own minds, then he shall be controlled by them"

huaaaaa....

when i want to start believing and have faith in something, then a small portion of my mind started to make me lose faith in it

and

when i want to lose both hope and faith, my mind would also convince me that there is still a glimmer of hope, and I shouldn't give up so easily...


but, I am tired of hoping and every disappointment is hurtful
*sigh

but I believe one day later I will go past it..., everything will be over and I would know the last result. It's just that maybe now is the time to prepare for either best or worst results.
still hoping for the best results though.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Titanic and Death

Hello again bloggie..., I'm very sorry for neglecting u these past few months..
I'm sorry that I kept making lame excuses to postpone what I had been intending to write..
Now, it's less than an hour until new year, year of 2011
I'm in my own home, in Tanjung Balai Karimun, but, I'm alone only with my beloved mum and with you, bloggie, hikss2... My dad is in Taiwan currently, accompanying my grandma (his mum) to watch fireworks.
and that's a little about me..,
now, let's get back to more serious topic.

A week ago, when I came back to my hometown, I received a very bad news.., that was the wife of the youngest brother of my grandfather from my father side (is it confusing??, hehehe) was dying. she had many serious illness like diabetes, kidney's failure and many more. Later that night, my mum took me to her house to pray for her, to "send" her away with chants so that she could follow Buddha to a better place. She did passed away when we are praying for her, after hanging on difficultly (she breathed very difficultly in the last moment) for quite a long time. I felt very sad, because when I was young, me and my siblings would ate her noodles or kwetiau almost every week.., It was very very delicious. and she is a nice person, very friendly.

After she passed away, I remembered that I had read an article about death, that left a deep impression in me. I wanted to share this article to my blog readers.
That article was taken from a book called "Cerah Setiap Hari, 366 Hari Renungan Pencerahan"
(it was translated to Indonesian from the original book named "The Daily Enlightenment")
It was a book about matters to think on every single day, based on Buddhism, written by Shen Shian.
Now, I will try to translate back to English, to share it with all of you. Please note that this is not the original script of the book, Its purely my work, so please understand if there are any mistake.
here it is.


DEATH AND TITANIC


For me, what's more meaningful than the love story in the film 'TITANIC', is how different people's reaction when facing the approaching death, which are :
  1. The designer of the ship, who looked like he's in fault, very sad, and remorseful; pondering over his mistakes; and let other people saved their lives with emergency boats
  2. The capten of the ship, looked very attached, trapped by his broken reputation and his dreams which will never again came true. He hold his hat, not planning to save himself and wait for his death.
  3. The bad guy who tried to bribed and cheat to save himself
  4. An officer who can not overcome the stress when trying to discipline the panicking crowd. He was forced to shoot a passenger who didn't want to queue up. Feeling remorseful and helpless, he then shot himself.
  5. There are also people who jumped straight into the sea, swam to chase on the leaving boats
  6. There are also a bunch of people, who prayed with high spirit, asking for help
  7. Most people scrambled to get in the emergency boats
  8. There are also people (like Jack and Rose) who wouldn't want to be apart, and don't care about the people in their surrounding
  9. and, of course there are also a group of musician who made bistory by playing the music until the end to calmed the panicked people down.
So, the question is : when you are in the TITANIC on that night, how will you react? Do you consider your reaction is right? what is right?

TITANIC is a true story about a big disaster. It was the only ship in the history that were said to be unsinkable, but it sank on its first sailing. What is the connection with us??

Many of us feel that we are TITANIC : We often behaved like we would never die. We often felt that we are unbeatable by age, illness, and death. unbeatable by the law of momentary. covered by big illusion. Momentary is not meant to be talked only, it should be felt. Approaching death is a strong motivation for us to reach Nirvana, a condition that has beaten death.


Right on the day we were born, we are each TITANIC which are sinking, we are starting our journey to death. The problem is we never know how much part of the ship is above the water. Have you planned on the way to save yourself? How would you get out of that ship?


There is an ancient proverb from India :
" The most amazing thing in the world is that we all lived as we will still lived tomorrow morning "


one tomorrow in the future, we will not live anymore, and what's frightening is the tomorrrow might be the real tomorrow. Let's hope that we treasure this life and be aware of how to go past life and death. Yes, be aware of it today, because tomorrow might be too late.


Yes, yes, you might had heard about this advice thousands of times. So, would it be like one of those advices? You decide it for yourself
you can start to think of it seriously now, or tomorrow??


That's it. Interesting as well as frightening for me.
what do you think..., I will be happy to hear your opinion about it too, you can write it in comment box. or email directly to : 'enchanting_lotus230489@yahoo.com'
yes, yes, yes, I am indeed a lotus maniac, hihihihi

anyway, I think my post is maybe appropriate to end a year but, is unauspicious to start a new year..
so here, I want to wish all of you a very happy new year...
may you all stay happy and healthy for a long time...
and may you are closer to reach your dreams..

Happy New Year Everyone...!!!
be blessed.

;;

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