Dreamy Wonderland

My First Poem...(^^,)


A word of precaution : Maybe it’s best to just skip this article/this blog.
You may feel like to vomit after reading it.
So it’s just best for you to skip reading this, and read other article...
Ok2?

THE FEELING OF AN UNCERTAIN GIRL

Whenever you are here, right in front of me
I could never concentrate on anything
No matter how hard I had tried
You’ll always managed to steal my attention
But yet...
I could only look at you from distance
I could only look at you silently
I could only look at you shyly
For fear that you may notice me looking at you

Deep down, in the bottom of my heart
I am longing to let you know
Letting you know all about my feeling towards you
But still
I can’t bring myself to say it out
Because of the unsureness about your feeling
Maybe by keeping this feeling to myself
I will not get any acception
But at least...
I will not get your rejection
For your rejection may dash away all of my hopes and dreams

You meant so much to me
I can’t get you out of my minds
Even though you are not around
My mind still thinks about you
Your absence makes me feel lonely
Disappointed me
Yet, It makes grow fonder and fonder of you

Around you...
I just can’t be myself
No matter how hard I’ve tried
And sometimes
Your nearness will always takes my breath away
Makes my heart beat faster
Empties my brain
And one thing for sure...
I will be nervous

And so...
All the things I want to do can find no energy
All the things I want to express to you can find no guts
All the things I want to say to you can find no voice at all
Then...
In the silent, I can only hope
My eyes will speak my heart
To you...


Hehehe,...
I know it is quite mushy...
Actually it is not a poem...
It is what my heart is feeling...
I made this when I was in junior high school, when I was around 12 years old, I think..
Come to think of it, I feel rather shy to be so mushy at my young age.
It is actually the first time I have really got the courage to write down my feelings, expressed it in words..
Although, it is not very good, I still cherish it
It keeps with it some memories that one could never ask for more...
It’s not that I’m trying to show off about my feeling...
It’s just that I want to preserve this memory in my blog, so that I won’t forget it...


Hehehe, I told you to just skip this blog...
You should have listened to me, hehehe

Hmmm, lama-lama pegel juga pakai bahasa Inggris terus...
Sekali-sekali pakai bahasa Indo ahhh

Hmm, Ini terjadi hari Sabtu kemarin, tapi aku ga sempat ngepost...
Baru sempat sekarang...

Jadi gini nich ceritanya...
Kan hari Jumat malam, aku dan Ira nginap di kost-an Vero. Kita lagi mau ngerjain tugas NME (Neraca Massa dan Energi), yang ngerancang pabrik minyak jagung. Wah ternyata ribet juga yaa... Nah, kami tuh ngerjain sampai pagi, jam 1 atau 2-an. Trus karena ga tahan lagi, kami tidur sampai jam 6.30.

Karena tidurnya cuma bentar (soalnya ga sampai 8 jam, hehehe), waktu bangun aku masih ngerasa ngantuk sekali... Mata rasanya masih pengen terpejam... Dengan kondisi seperti itu, aku pun membuka HP, ternyata ada1 sms dari kak Edo. Intinya yang aku baca waktu itu, kumpul jam 9, untuk rapat PKM dan duta lingkungan KLH, jangan telat. Ya karena inbox HP aku kapasitasnya kecil (maklum, masih HP zaman dulu), Aku langsung menghapus smsnya setelah dibaca. Setelah itu, aku langsung bergegas mandi dan siap2 untuk ke ITB.

Aku sampai di ITB jam 8.45. Ternyata belum ada yang datang. Aku langsung duduk di bangku HIM menunggu, karena aku pikir aku yang kepagian. Jam 9 teng, Ivan datang.., katanya mau bikin proposal PKM tentang padi SRI (beda kelompok sama aku). Diapun menunggu kelompoknya yang belum pada datang. Jadilah kami menunggu di HIM sambil belajar Topik-Topik Pilihan Teknik Kimia (Hiks2...., mau UTS nih hari senin). Sekitar jam 9.20, aku pun mulai agak sedikit ngoceh2 ke Ivan ttg jarkom rapat dari kakEdo, yang katanya mulai jam 9 dan ga boleh telat. Sebenarnya, aku ada rapat lain jam 10nya, jadi aku harus cabut jam 10 dari rapat PKM ini. Tapi, aku tetap menunggu...

Sekitar jam 9.45, tak seorang pun kunjung datang... Aku pun jadinya agak gimana gitu, bukan marah sih, ga kesal juga, ga tau rasa apa juga, hehehe... Nah, kata Ivan, aku sebaiknya telp kak Edo saja, siapa tau kak Edo ketiduran. Tapi, aku ngerasa ga enak kalo telepon, maka aku pun sms...
Bunyinya : "Kak Edo.... Kak Edo dimana? Kakak SUDAH TELAT...Saya ga bisa lama2 rapatnya..."
Saya kirim berkali-kali..., supaya kesannya lagi mendesak banget, supaya kak Edo cepat balas.. Nah kak Edo ga balas2 sms aku. Trus tiba-tiba saja, ada sesuatu yang kepikiran sama aku (Beneran tiba-tiba banget), TING!
Mungkin rapatnya besok kali ya?? Soalnya, sepertinya kak Edo pernah bilang mungkin akan ketemu bentar hari Minggu... Ivan yang tau sms saya ga dibalas kak Edo, langsung memutuskan menelpon kak Edo (Trims yaa, Ivan). Awalnya, Ivan berniat untuk menyindir kak Edo dengan kata "SELAMAT SIANG, KAK!!!", tapi entah kenapa ga jadi. Dari telepon itu, kak Edo, bilang rapatnya besok..

Yah, ternyata aku yang salah membaca sms kak Edo, tapi masih sms kak Edo, bilang kak Edo sudah telat
Untung aku ga marah2 atau kesal waktu sms
Untung juga Ivan ga jadi nyindir kak Edo...
Hwaaa.... Malu banget... (>.<)
Rasanya ingin menggali lubang dan membenamkan kepalaku saat itu (krn malu banget)
Kak Edo, maaf yaa..., hehehe...
Akhir2 ini sering ga 100% (hehe, kaya iklan ajah), mungkin harus minum minuman bervitamin supaya 100% lagi, hehehe...

Valentine Roses

A touching story.......

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."

taken from http://www.indianchild.com/valentine_roses.htm

What I learn from this story is we should never take our time for granted.
Our time on earth is limited.
we should do the things we wanted to do immediately...
Or we will regret about it sometimes later, because we lost the chance to do it.

Although, I understand the meaning of this story...
I still can't applied it in my life.
it is said that "easier said than done".
I guess that sentence suits me best right now
Actually, I have a 'feeling' that I have been keeping for a quite long time.
But, still I can't be honest about it.
I still can't express my feeling towards him
I think I lack the courage...
May god bless me with much courage to do 'it' soon.
I hope I won't have any regrets, just like the man in the story who has done his desires and duties perfectly.

Recently, I've got interested in growing rice plant with the method of SRI (System of Rice Intensification). In a simple term, it is a method of growing rice plant so that the rice plant produces more rice than other methods.
Thanks to Ivan, my friend, I am curious about growing rice plant on my own.
At first, I am not too interested in trying to grow rice plant with SRI on my own.
But a few days ago, Ivan showed me the photo of his rice plants..
I don't know what has got into me at that time, but suddenly I had the urge to try it.
I have been taking care of the rice seeds for a few days now.
They already have smalll roots growing out.
Every night, I would spent a little time to observed them and prayed for them, so that they will grow healthyly..
Hope that I won't get bore doing that..,hehe...
that's all...
hehehe...(^^,)

14 - September -2008....
In lunar date (Chinese date) was the 15th day in eighth month..
That was the Mid-Autumn Festival..
It has been a great festival which has been celebrated from generations to generations in China since a long time ago..
It was the time, when the moon is believed to be in the fullest phase by older people in olden times...
It was the moment when the entire family gather around besides Chinese New Year...
They would sit together under the open night sky...
Talking and sharing about anything in their Life...
Looking at the beautiful, bright, and full moon...
and, eating 'moon cake' of course...
Sometimes they would even create poems to appreciate the beautiful looking moon...


When, I was in my hometown, in a tiny island...
I had always celebrated this festival with my family and friends...
I would have carried a cute lantern and walked around happily with my friends...
Me and my friends would also exchanged greetings anxiously...
But now, the condition much differ...
I am now living in a quite big city...
My friends here didn't feel anything about this festival...
Suddenly, I missed the olden time in my hometown...

Here is the origin of the Mid-Autumn Festival (Moon Festival)
It's a little long...
Hope u like it ^^

There are so many variations and adaptations of the Chang'e legend that one can become overwhelmed and utterly confused. However, most legends about Chang'e in Chinese mythology involve some variation of the following elements: Houyi, the Archer; Chang'e, the mythical Moon Goddess of Immortality; an emperor, either benevolent or malevolent; an elixir of life; and the Moon:

There are at least 6 variations to this story where Houyi was an archer.

Version 1: Houyi was an immortal, while Chang'e was a beautiful young girl, working in the Jade Emperor's Palace as the attendant to the Queen Mother of the West (wife of the Jade Emperor), just before her marriage. One day, Houyi aroused the jealousy of the other immortals, who then slandered him before the Jade Emperor. Houyi and his wife, Chang'e, were subsequently banished from heaven, and forced to live by hunting on earth. He became a famous archer.

Now at this time, there were 10 suns, in the form of Three-legged birds, residing in a mulberry tree in the eastern sea; each day one of the sun birds would have to travel around the world on a carriage, driven by Xihe (deity), the 'mother' of the suns. One day, all 10 of the suns circled together, causing the earth to burn. Emperor Yao, the Emperor of China, commanded Houyi to shoot down all but one of the suns. Upon the completion of his task, the Emperor rewarded Houyi with a pill that granted eternal life, and advised him: "Make no haste to swallow this pill; first prepare yourself with prayer and fasting for a year". Houyi took the pill home and hid it under a rafter, while he began healing his spirit. While Houyi was healing his spirit, Houyi was summoned again by the emperor. Chang'e, noticing a white beam of light beckoning from the rafters, discovered the pill, which she swallowed. Immediately, she found that she could fly. At that moment, Houyi returned home, and, realizing what had happened, began to reprimand her. Chang'e flew out the window into the sky.

With a bow in hand, Houyi sped after her, and the pursuit continued halfway across the heavens. Finally, Houyi had to return to the Earth because of the force of the wind. Chang'e reached the moon, and breathless, she coughed. Part of the pill fell out from her mouth. Now, the hare was already on the moon, and Chang'e commanded the animal to make another pill from it, so that she could return to earth to her husband.

As of today, the hare is still pounding herbs, trying to make the pill. As for Houyi, he built himself a palace in the sun as "Yang" (the male principle), with Chang'e as "Yin" (the female principle). Once a year, on the 15th day of the full moon, Houyi visits his wife. That is why, that night, the moon is full and beautiful.

This description appears in written form in two Western Han dynasty (206 BCE-24 CE) collections; Shan Hai Jing, the Classic of the Mountains and Seas and Huainanzi, a philosophical classic.

Version 2: The story took place around 2170 BC. The earth had ten suns at that time. They burned the crops and people suffered of the infertile. Houyi sympathized the humans, so he decided to shoot down the sun but leave one to benefit the humans. After he shot down the suns, he became a hero. He had a beautiful wife name Chang’e and they lived happily together. Houyi had a lot of apprentices; they followed him to learn hunting. One day, on Houyi’s way back home the immortals emperor gave Houyi a pill which granted eternal life as a reward for shooting down the suns. He warned Houyi, “Make no haste to swallow the pill.” But Houyi loved Chang’e very much and did not want to leave her, so he gave the pill to Chang’e and let her store the pill in a safe place. Chang’e put the pill in her jewelry box. But one of Houyi’s prentices Peng discovered this secret. He decided to steal the pill. One day Houyi and other apprentices went to the mountain. Peng pretended he was sick so that he can stay at home. Everyone went to the mountain except Chang’e, who stayed at home. He intruded in Chang’e’s room and forced her to give him the pill. Chang’e knew she cannot fight Peng so she took flight and flew far far away. She did not want to leave her husband, so she stopped at the moon which is closest to Earth. After Houyi knew what happened, he was very angry and heartbroken. He looked up into the night and called Chang’e’s name. He discovered that inside the moon there was a lady’s shadow that look like Chang’e, so he ran and ran and tried to reach the moon. He failed due to the wind.

Version 3: The earth once had ten suns circling over it, each taking turn to illuminate the earth. One day, however, all ten suns appeared together, scorching the earth with their heat. Houyi, a strong and tyrannical archer, saved the earth by shooting down nine of the suns. He eventually became King, but grew to become a despot.

One day, Houyi stole the elixir of life from a goddess. However, his beautiful wife, Chang'e, drank it in order to save the people from the her husband’s tyrannical rule. After drinking it, she found herself floating, and flew to the moon. Houyi loved his divinely beautiful wife so much, he did not shoot down the moon.

Version 4: Another version, however, had it that Chang'e and Houyi were immortals living in heaven. One day, the ten sons of the Jade Emperor transformed into ten suns, causing the earth to scorch. Having failed to order his sons to stop ruining the earth, the Jade Emperor summoned Houyi for help. Houyi, using his legendary archery skills, shot down nine of the sons, but spared one son to be the sun. The Jade Emperor was obviously displeased with Houyi’s solution to save the earth. As punishment, he banished Houyi and Chang'e to live as mere mortals on earth.

Seeing that Chang'e felt extremely miserable over her loss of immortality, Houyi decided to journey on a long, perilous quest to find the pill of immortality so that the couple could be immortals again. At the end of his quest, he met the Queen Mother of the West, who agreed to give him the pill, but warned him that each person would only need half a pill to regain immortality.

Houyi brought the pill home and stored it in a case. He warned Chang'e not to open the case, and then left home for a while. Like Pandora in Greek mythology, Chang'e became curious. She opened up the case and found the pill, just as Houyi was returning home. Nervous that Houyi would catch her, discovering the contents of the case, she accidentally swallowed the entire pill, and started to float into the sky because of the overdose. Although Houyi wanted to shoot her in order to prevent her from floating further, he could not bear to aim the arrow at her. Chang'e kept on floating until she landed on the moon.

While she became lonely on the moon without her husband, she did have company. A jade rabbit, who manufactured elixirs, also lived on the moon.

Version 5: In a popular school version, Houyi was a lazy boy who did nothing but to practice his archery. He practiced day and night until he became the greatest archer in the world. One day, the ten suns all assembled around the earth. Their presence destroyed all vegetation, and hundreds of thousands were perishing. The emperor, who was desperate, offered his crown to anyone who could shoot down the suns. Houyi answered his call. He shot down nine of the suns, and as he pulled his bow to shoot the last one, the emperor stopped him. Saying the earth must have one sun. Houyi then became the emperor. He was pampered to the extent that he wanted to be emperor forever. He called his advisors to look for a way to make him immortal. His advisors found a way. They found a recipe for the Pill of Immortality. It required 100 adolescent boys to be ground into a biscuit like a pill. Every night he was supposed to grind one boy. On the hundredth night, his wife Chang'e could not bear to watch her husband become the tyrannical dictator for eternity. She prayed to Xi Wang Mu for help. She stole the pill, with Houyi shooting arrows at her, and flew to the moon grabbing a rabbit to keep her company. So the Chinese say that if you look up at the moon to this day you can sometimes see a rabbit making moon cakes.

Version 6: A different version, is that Chang'e was a goddess. She fell in love with a farmer, Houyi, and he fell in love with her, not knowing she was from the heavens up above. Soon he had found out and the gods from heaven were furious of them because it was forbidden for a god or goddess to fall in love with a human. They had a child together but she still had to leave both her beloved husband and child behind during mid-autumn. She would represent the moon, he would represent as the sun and the child would represent as the stars. Taken pity over them, they are only allowed to see each other every mid-autumn

Because of those stories or legends above, The Mid-Autumn Festival is also celebrated as the

Eastern Valentine's Day

Hehe, that's all, I think....
though It's rather late, I guess...
Still, "Happy Mid-Autumn Festival"
"Happy Moon Festival"
"Happy Eastern Valentine's Day"
(^^,)

A couple days ago, I was down with several illnesses. That day, I felt terrible. I couldn’t do anything. My body was very weak and I felt giddy all day. All I could do that day was to lie down in my bed.

I can’t tell my parents about my condition. My parents live far away from me. The last thing I want them to do is to worry about me. I know that they already have so many burdens in their mind. I can’t bring myself to increase their burden by worrying about me.

But to get sick, without someone truly care for you, like your family, is really hard.

I have to prepare my own meal in my really weak condition. In the end, I bought food from the stall nearby without even care for what food I was choosing that time. In the past, if I was sick, my mother would have cook something nutritious and delicious for me, even it is as simple as porridge. My mother would have stayed beside me, accompanied me, and attendded to all my needs. I really miss my mother so much...

That day, only 2 of my friends sent me messages, asked me about my condition. Isn’t it pathetic..? Maybe, because I didn’t tell anyone about my condition, so not many of them know. Or maybe, all of this time, I haven’t been a friend good enough for them to make them care for me. Maybe, I haven’t done my best as a friend for them.

On that day too, I had deeply hoped in my heart, that someone special for me will sent me messages, asked about my condition, or maybe just wished me a speedy recovery. We should have three same classes that day if I didn’t sick. That day, I wished, he would have notice my absence, and asked about me. I waited for his messages all night. I kept praying that this wish would become reality. But, sadly, in the end, my hope didn’t come true.

That day left a sad memory for me. I remembered I had been crying all night until I felt asleep that day. Even when I was writing this blog, my tears can’t stop falling.

Why do I want to grow as A lotus...?


Many People has asked me that question, and I think maybe some of you will ask the same question...


The reason of me choosing Lotus is because I admired Lotus so much...!
Lotus is a very strong flower...
Maybe all of you has know that lotus grows in swamps. Have you ever visited Swamps..? I guess not much people like to go to swamps...Swamps give most of us a creepy feeling. Commonly, swamps are dirty, full of mosquitoes, full of dragonfly and other insects. Maybe u will picture SHREK in the swamps, hahaha..And then maybe there are a few people will admired swamps so much...For me, swamps is neither beautiful or ugly... To me, swamps is swamps..
Back to the initial topic..., Swamps is not the beautiful place ever to visit....




But, What amaze me is that Lotus can blossom beautifully (In my opinion, the most beautiful flower in the world..)in that worse condition...Don't you think that's amazing? Now, just compare the condition where the roses are grown with the swamps... What do you think?
Moreover, roses need additional human care to blossoms beautifully, while, Lotus don't need that much care to blossoms into the most beautiful flower in the world...

I want to be like Lotus.. I want to blossom into the most enchanting Lotus ever admired... I want to grow into a usefull person even if the world is in chaos.... I hope that every obstacle, every experients that bumps me in my journey to become The Most Enchanting Lotus will strenghten me... and... Lastly, may all of you guide me to open each of my petals to be The Most Enchanting Lotus... Thank You...